Missing you more everyday :'(:'(

Dear Amina,
      I know you probably understand how much your death broke me.It took me almost five months to wake up to a tearless pillow.I keep praying to Allah s.w.t who is  Ar-Rahmaan will make it easy for you in your grave.
     I just remembered today about a year ago how emotional I had gotten and I was all teary crying over some guy . And you kept challenging me like “grown up babes don’t cry.”.truth is sweetie I doubt I’ll ever be grown up enough if tears count.
  Well I have good news love.I finally graduated from school and my cousin  (your hubby) and my bro took me all the way.I doubt I’ve ever been that elated in my life.
   Babe,your kid has six teethies.I know you never imagined she’d survive this long but Masha’Allah day by day she growing chubbier.The other day she gave me a high five and I broke into tears because you left her at just three months and now she really is growing up.i keep seeing your face in her’s .she’s gorgeous just like the mum.

We all keep remembering your sweet heart.How loud you’d call my name when you pass by home and how we enjoyed a dose of Beyoncé ‘s album when  we had stress.And the loads of ice cream we had when you were pregnant. Sometimes I would look at you and die of laughter for you always had me entertained.

Remember my tongue ring and how much you loved it on me.Well,as part of me moving on I had to let go of that and so much more.your death will always be a painful test from my side and am still trying to figure out ways of handling this test.But insha’Allah my soul will accept it all.

  I pray that Allah gives your lovely soul jannah. You lived a simple life and we loved how you brightened our lives. Am not sure will meet again but I promise to keep praying for you. As for our child as long as am able I promise to shower her with love .

I miss you sweetie though I’ve accepted that this Allah’s plan . It’s impossible to delete the memories . I still love you to the moon and back.May Allah make it easy for you and others who left before you.

Insha’Allah all will be well for both of us.

Always loving you,
Fatma
Diary of a muslimah

Inalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.
Remembering you love. I miss you Amina .May Allah pardon you and grant you jannah sweetie.May you be shaded by His Mercies everyday . Your death remains a loss,a lesson and a test to me.always praying for you.